Pungent puns with Tim

You'd best believe my life contains pun duels. To this day I have proven to be a strong pun master and just tonight I bested Tim in a pun off. Oddly enough the topic of the punning was sewing and all involved showed an unnatural amount of knowledge on the subject for two men in their early twenties still living at home. The battle raged for 20 or so minutes with many well thought out (and some not so well thought out) puns being flung to and fro. the conversation went something like this:

Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
would it be too much effort to make my own blind guardian patch?
Team says:
I imagine sew.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
oh tim
bravo
Team says:
That pun was just looming around, waiting to be used.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
oh man
Team says:
You'll be in a stitch if you can't think of any yourself.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
you've got me in stitches here
Oh
god
 damn it
Team says:
I've just got too much material tonight.
Sassy says:
Needle little help there James?
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
my roll as pun master is unraveling
Team says:
Start a thread on 4chan about it.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
I was going to make a thread pun
but thought better of it
I figured you'd all cotton on soon enough
but we've had a good yarn
so not all is lost
Team says:
Well, I had it bobbin around in my head for a while too.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
see I couldn't find a way to weave it into the conversation
and neither could you
you were at a loose end
Team says:
I don't think I had to go too far from the pattern to get it in here.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
Man
these are getting laboured
it seems like we should stop now...
*seams
Team says:
Yeah. I absolutely agree.
They're getting worn.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
A bit thread bare
Team says:
All strung out.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
well we've skirted it enough now
we should stop
Team says:
That's enough talk about your full metal jacket.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
man
untill now all our puns had been cut from the same cloth
Sassy says:
Oh darn
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
but that one jumped
oh man slim
nice
Sassy says:
I was going to start some bullet puns
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
wait
did you intend that pun?
Team says:
So simple, Slim, yet so clever.
Sassy says:
But you continued
....yes
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
good
I was unsure
Sassy says:
And by that I mean no
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
this saddens me
Team says:
How long did you have that one up your sleeve?
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
a while
I'd say he just kept his lips buttoned untill the right time
Team says:
We really need to just zip it on these.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
we really need to cut them out
yes
Team says:
Having to think of replies is getting me all hot under the collar.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
We're going to have to trim our oun usage for a while
*pun
Team says:
Eventually one of us is going to have to split anyway.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
before one of us comes undone
Team says:
And I'm not as good as you at fabricating puns, either.
Sassy says:
Yeah, I think soon I'm goign down for the night
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
mine are getting a little frayed around the edges though
Team says:
You're just better tailored to it.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
you're pretty well suited your self
Team says:
Nah. I doubt I can keep going in this fashion for long.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
you're going to have to pin me down with a good one soon though
Team says:
I thought I had you in a tight fit with that last one there.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
I've got beads of sweat running off me trying to think of another
Team says:
Well.
You got me.
I'm all tapped out.
Well fought.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
I'm sure you can patch together something?
Sassy says:
I wool'd think of one if I could
Team says:
I couldn't remember if we'd used 'freyed' yet, but I think you did.
Alphonze T. Habbernackle says:
I did
you could have made some alterations though

And that gentle reader is how I beat Tim in a sewing related pun off.

The end.